Your Regulation Resources
Life is filled with ups and downs. When you go through some current challenges or healing your past there are times when you’re emotionally imbalanced and volatile or feeling down or broken. We all can get lost in spirals of worry and anxiety, grief and depression, or irritation and anger.
That’s why it’s important to create your lists of regulation resources and have them handy as reminders of the tools (self-regulation), people (co-regulation), and divine force (spiritual regulation) in your life that support you to be present with what is and embody more love.
You’ve got what you need to be empowered even in the most difficult times!
First, you are invited to take inventory of your existing skills & resources that help you to self-regulate.
Self-regulation is the ability to manage your emotions and behavior in accordance with the demands of the situation. To improve your relationships and life, you need to be able to effectively regulate your emotions, behaviors, and, eventually, thought patterns.
Emotional self-regulation is a starting point in this journey.
“Someone who has good emotional self-regulation has the ability to keep their emotions in check.
They can resist impulsive behaviors that might worsen their situation, and
they can cheer themselves up when they’re feeling down.
They have a flexible range of emotional and behavioral responses
that are well-matched to the demands of their environment.”
Is self-regulation similar to self-control?
I like how psychologist Stuart Shanker explains it:
“Self-control is about inhibiting strong impulses;
self-regulation [is about] reducing the frequency and intensity of strong impulses
by managing stress-load and recovery.
In fact, self-regulation is what makes self-control possible, or, in many cases, unnecessary.”
What is emotional self-regulation resource?
Emotional self-regulation resource is anything that can be used to have you feel better in the moment. It's something that you can utilize in the moments when you feel triggered or upset, something that brings you back to being authentically present.
Take some time to connect to your body first and then ask your womb/hara:
What can bring me back from a place where I’m about to lose myself or “check out” — distract myself from being in the moment?
What can I easily access in those moments so that I can stay present?
Here is a list of my favorite self-regulation resources:
Abdominal breathing, slowing down my breath, and concentrating on exhalations
Awareness of body sensations: I feel, I witness, I embrace, including the painful or uncomfortable ones
Shaking my body (this can feel especially helpful when feeling a bit frozen)
Essential oils: opening the bottle and taking a few deep breaths, or self-massage
Intuitive yoga, dance or movement: letting myself move in any way that feels good to my body
Humming, or opening my throat and sighing, toning, allowing any intuitive sounds
Feeling my hands - touch meditation
Grounding by stamping feet or rubbing feet
Alternate nostril breathing (nadi shodhana)
Saying gratitude for something or someone I appreciate and feeling my heart expanding
Push up against the wall: placing the back against the wall and pushing the spine up against it; feeling my back supported and breathing.
Washing hands and face in cool water
There are many more options!